How It Could Have Been
by Tinkerl3ee
Summary: After calling Lily a mudblood Snape's life takes a turn for the worst as he falls deeper and deeper into loneliness and considers becoming a Death Eater. Meanwhile one of the true friends he had in Slytherin becomes distant, and seems to be associating with Potter and his friends of all people. Does he really have anything left to lose?


For those of you who still remember this story, I've been away for awhile, too long in fact. Death of a loved one can hit you pretty hard, and I was unable to write for quite sometime. I was getting better actually, but I'm afraid my negligence to writing has allowed my skill to fall into disrepair. But I'm back on the horse, and I'm completely rewriting this story. I can rebuild it, make it better than it was before.

So as a recap - if anyone actually remembers what the old story was about- Severus had 2 close friends at Hogwarts: Lily and Circes. What you might also remember is that I did very little research, characterization was all over the place, and I had an idea of what I wanted but other than that, I was making stuff up as I went along. I've planned this one out better... I hope. But if you do remember the old one and were a fan, sorry I don't think I'm going to finish that version, and if you're new forget everything I just said. However constructive... I don't want to say criticism, because I'm overly sensitive, but that's what it is- would be helpful. I will try to suck it up and not take it personally.

One last thing: I really like Snape I think he was a masterfully created character and I wish he'd had more happiness in his fictional life. So as an experiment I'm writing four stories. Each involve Severus falling (is that word inappropriate for him... probably) for a different girl. Each one will be from a different house, at a different point in his life, with a different blood status, all stories completely separate from each other. This story takes place during is school years, with a pure blood Slytherin.  
I've also got ideas for a story set during the first war, and then post-first war when he begins teaching at Hogwarts. Not sure if I'm going to go chronologically or just write whatever story I feel like. Would like to finish one before starting another but... I have trouble maintaining focus. I think that's all for now.

Of course all characters (97% anyway) and the HPverse belong to J.K. Rowling. I'm just playing in it.

* * *

Ch.1: Encounters

The Universe is a fickle thing, particularly where magic is involved. You tumble along in its stream, sometimes trying to fight the current, only to give up and accept the course in front of you, when in turns back in the direction you wanted to go previously. The Universe didn't mind doing you a favour, it just wanted you to know that you're still its witch.

This was the conclusion Circes came to when a group of voices outside their coach grew to a jeering crescendo. "What's going on?" Circes looked to Lucius, who was sitting next to the door.

He peered through the small glass window in the door and shook his head, whether it was with amusement or pity Circes couldn't tell, odd combination though it was. "It seems that Severus has found himself in the middle of Potter and his friends earlier than usual."

Circes hit Lucius' shoulder roughly. "Then do something!"

Lucius blinked at Circes in a way that absolutely infuriated her. "Why?"

You're here to sit in on the Hogwarts board of Governors' meeting because you hope to join." Another blink. "So go out and prove that this school needs, whatever it is you think it needs. Going to the board meeting with information like this could be helpful."

He seemed to consider it, but shook his head. "I doubt they'll care very much about a kerfuffle in the corridor."

Trying to reign in her temper, because temper tantrums were never a good way to make yourself seem serious, she tried a different tactic. "Aren't you tired of letting Potter and his annoying friends walk all over Severus like that? Because when they mess with him they mess with Slytherin and we're letting them do it. We should be sending them – no everyone – the message that there are consequences to messing with Slytherin."

That seemed to do it. Lucius' eyes narrowed and he stood. "I suppose you're right. Snape's association with that mudblood girl was poor judgment on his part. But he redeemed himself last year when he called Evans out for what she is."

Circes heart twinged guiltily, she knew Severus hadn't meant to say that to Lily and he hadn't stopped apologizing since. And she knew that this help would be unwelcome if he knew why his place as a true Slytherin was being reconsidered. But her uneasiness went by unnoticed.

"So let's send this school a message," Lucius continued, "And that message will be that those who challenge Slytherin: lose."

Circes sighed, he might not be standing up for Severus because he'd been a house mate, but at least he was doing something.

Lucius cranked open the door and led the way. The small assembled group in the train's corridor stopped to watch the two approach them.

"We'll be taking him back now." Lucius addressed Potter directly, who turned to look at Lucius a little surprised with the interference. Snape looked up as equally as surprised at his new found support.

"Is that right? And if I say, no?" He looked to Black and the others for support. They closed in their ranks around Severus and nodded in agreement.

"You won't." A quiet but harsh spoke up, stepping out in front of Lucius, wand drawn and ready stood Circes. Her hair stood on end bristling with magic a sign that told everyone she was angry. She was so tiny, and would have been hard otherwise to take her seriously, except for the look in her eyes. And for a brief moment Severus wondered what powered that intense look of hers.

"You sound sure of yourself." James was still refusing to lose control of the situation.

"As sure as I am that you don't want to be turned into a toad." Circes felt a slight rush of power that came as she heard Lucius snicker. The look on James' face only served to heighten the feeling as his gaze wavered from confidence to hesitation.

But nevertheless James' called her bluff. "Do it then!" It was Circes turn to falter.

"I have a better idea." Circes took a few steps closer, satisfied with the distrustful gaze she received from Potter. "I purpose a duel."

"I duel?" Potter replied a little dubious. She saw black grab his shoulder and whisper something in his ear. She looked at the uneasiness in Lucius' eyes and knew he longed to say something, but didn't want to end up in the middle.

"Yes. Not afraid are you Potter?" She knew baiting him would work. Gryffindors would rise to anything when their bravery and more so their pride were threatened. For good measure Circes threw in a patronizing sneer and eyebrow raise. It took a lot of control not to laugh as James' face turned red.

"Fine! Ready yourself." James drew himself into a defensive pose.

"Ah. Ah." Circes wagged a finger at him. She walked closer until she was only a few steps away, stopping when she saw Black, Lupin and Pettigrew tighten the grip on their wands. "I didn't say now."

"When and where, then?" The words were ground out. Potter certainly didn't liked being jerked about. Unfortunately for him it just made it more entertaining.

Then Circes closed the distance between her ad Potter, she stood on her tip-toes and let her lips brush his ear, hoping the closeness would throw the boy off, and whispered the time and place to him. Satisfied she lowered herself back to her normal height and threw a purposeful look at James' friends. "And it's a private affair. I know you're used to the odds of four to one, but do try to swallow your cowardice just this once."

She didn't bother to look back at the boy she knew was ready to hex her, Lucius was no doubt watching the Gryffindor boy intently, to make sure no unfair spells were thrown at her back. "Now stand aside!" She barked at Pettigrew who almost jumped out of her way. James may have been brave enough to withstand her gaze but Peter most certainly was not. Standing in front of him she issued for Severus to lead the way.

Though she desperately wanted to take his hand and help him up, Circes knew it was a gesture he would not appreciate, so instead she let him pick himself up and lead the way.

"That's right Snivellus, run off with your girlfriend." Black called back to them as the four Gryffindors returned to their own seats.

Severus simply ignored them, but Circes was glad to have her back to them so they couldn't see the faint blush creep across her cheeks. Circes shook her head and tried to change the subject. "If you want, there is plenty of room in our cabin." Her eyes darted to Lucius, daring him to object.

After returning to the cabin the atmosphere turned silent and awkward. Lucius didn't mind standing up for Slytherin, and by mere coincidence, Severus. But that didn't mean he wanted to associate with the boy. He'd been a prefect in Snape's first year and welcomed him, hearing rumors about the boy and his talent for the Dark Arts, Snape could have proved useful. Then he openly engaged in a friendship with a mud blood, however Lucius had heard about Snape's declaration towards the Evans girl last year from Mulciber, perhaps he did still hold some promise, but it was not something to discuss in the train cabin.

Additionally Snape knew that the only reason Lucius had bothered to come out of his cabin was due, in its entirety, to Circes, no thanks or effort at conversation would be offered from him. So everyone sat in the cabin in silence, uncomfortable in each other's company.

With nothing to do but stare out the window, and make the occasional covert glance at Severus, Circes couldn't help but think about the circumstances that had led both her and Severus to this point. Somehow she thought that Severus calling Evans a mudblood would fix everything and that things return to their natural order: Severus would be seen as a true Slytherin, he would come to appreciate herself more, that his mislead feelings for the girl would vanish. But Circes had underestimated Severus' feelings for Evans. Severus hadn't spoken to Circes all summer because of that day.


End file.
